As I was sitting in meditation and not thinking, a multitude of thoughts arose about packing—packing for vacation, packing for moving, and packing for life. In a split second, I had loaded my suitcase with a yoga mat, a block, a thin strap, an inflatable zafu, and nine novels. Of course, I hadn’t actually left the zafu I was sitting on! Back to the breath and to being present.
If I listened and responded to every thought that wafts across my mind, I would be crazy. Literally. My busy mind has a List of Things to Do that never ends. Some part of me believes that if I get everything done, I’ll be happy. And there are plenty of books and online programs available to show me how to be productive and get it ALL done. The truth is that my To-Do List will never be “done” because some part of me keeps adding on to the list. Dust the baseboards. Pull vines off the trees. Walk the dog. Check the list.
Then there’s the Self-Care To Do List: Practice yoga, eat healthy foods, exercise, meditate, read more books about yoga and meditation. I can get very stressed contemplating all the things I need to do to decrease my stress!
What if happiness is an inside job (not a head job at all!) unrelated to the completed to-do list, especially to the one designed to quiet my overactive mind? How does happiness feel? Or contentment? Can you find the visceral experience of happiness in your body right now? Sit still for a moment and conjure up a memory of when you felt happy or content. Let yourself fully feel that throughout your body. Remember how that feels.
Back to me! As I awoke from the trance of thinking on the meditation cushion, I realized that my skin was tight and my jaw clenched in anticipation of “getting everything done.” I softened my jaw and relaxed my eyes, listening and looking inward. I opened to the feeling of contentment that I discovered. Ahh. Can I take that ease into the rest of life? Yes, if I’m attentive to what I’m doing right then and there without being one thought ahead of my actions. Without being caught up in any thoughts.
So whether we are practicing yoga, sitting in meditation or prayer, watching a bird in flight as the sun sets, or packing for a much-awaited vacation, let’s practice tuning into present moment awareness and finding acceptance of what is. Let’s tune into the spaciousness that comes from being fully engaged with life as life unfolds, not as it is in our head. My own experience is that the practice of present moment awareness is at the heart of self-care and it doesn’t require any list at all.